Executive Functioning Skills: Thriving through the Holidays
A Maryland therapist explains how to keep your neurodivergent brain in check as you check off your list
Holidays can be a wonderful time spent with loved ones, creating everlasting joyful memories. They can also be challenging, especially for neurodivergent individuals. Added stress comes from changes in routine, sensory stimuli, social expectations, and other factors.
Holiday stress is inevitable! However, despite the challenges and stress, we all can learn how to manage it. Learn how to support your neurodivergent brain, and look forward to many more holidays to come.
What is executive functioning?
Executive functioning refers to a set of mental skills that help individuals manage and regulate their cognitive processes to achieve goals. These skills are often associated with the prefrontal cortex of the brain. They play a crucial role in various aspects of daily life such as managing tasks and responsibilities; especially during busy and potentially stressful times like the holidays.
These processes tend to be glitchy for those with ADHD, anxiety, or autistic traits
The cognitive processes we refer to as executive functions include
planning
organizing
initiating and completing tasks
time management
shifting between activities
controlling impulses
flexibility
maintaining attention
Ok, so you know you struggle with these executive functions. (We call that executive dysfunction.) So how can you thrive?
Prioritizing and Planning with ADHD
During the holidays, everything can seem important and overwhelming all at once. Identify and prioritize tasks based on importance and target date. Find our system for doing that here.
Creating a to-do list or a planner can be helpful to organize activities and responsibilities. Create a digital folder to keep track of all of your holiday priorities and plans for easy access. Manage your time by scheduling time-blocks for tasks on your calendar and set alarm clocks as reminders to avoid procrastination.
Break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. It’s kind of like following a recipe: gather all of the ingredients, prep them and lay them out, then add in each ingredient as the recipe guides you, step by step.
When you prioritize and plan, be realistic about what you can and cannot accomplish during the holidays. Set achievable goals to avoid feeling overwhelmed and overcommitting yourself to social events or tasks that may cause stress. Be intentional about what really matters to you. Be open and honest about your needs and expectations. Let your family and friends know what you can and cannot handle. This is important for self-preservation through the holiday season.
Ask yourself, "What are the most important tasks for maintaining my well-being and reducing stress?”
Create Routines Your Neurodivergent Brain will Love
Establish consistent routines to help maintain a sense of order, structure and safety. Many neurodivergent individuals thrive on routine. Routines can be especially helpful during the holidays when schedules may be disrupted and changes in routine can be unsettling. If possible, try to maintain some elements of the regular schedule. If there are going to be changes, provide advance notice and visual supports, such as a schedule or calendar, to help with understanding and preparation.
Clear and direct communication is key. Use straightforward language and offer information about what to expect during holiday events. This does not mean unexpected events won’t occur, because let’s be honest, they most likely will. Practice being flexible with change and building understanding without becoming overly stressed. Putting yourself in other people’s shoes will help you build empathy, take into account the viewpoints of others and gain understanding.
Practice Flexible Thinking
Cognitive flexibility and adaptability means making self-care a priority this holiday season. Self-care is important for maintaining mental and physical well-being and controlling impulses when stressed or experiencing unexpected . This includes getting enough sleep, exercise, healthy nutrition and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Quality sleep helps regulate your emotions to stay calm under stress. Regular exercise is good for your brain and your body. Eating a well balanced diet helps to improve the brain's cognitive functioning. Communicate to others that self-care is important for your well-being and that you may need to take breaks or step away when necessary.
Practice Mindfulness
Practice mindfulness techniques to stay present and reduce stress. Savor the joy and fully immerse yourself in the experiences of the holidays by engaging all five senses. Incorporate stress management activities into your routine such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga, reading, listening to music or spending time in nature. Accept imperfections and manage expectations by practicing gratitude. Connect with your spirituality through prayer, prioritizing time for reflection and setting positive intentions.
Set & Respect Healthy Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries during the holidays is also essential for maintaining your well-being and reducing stress. Know your limits and set boundaries on your time, finances, responsibilities and personal space.
Also understand and respect others boundaries. Some individuals may need more personal space or have specific preferences regarding touch and interaction. Encourage open communication about individual needs and preferences to facilitate a more inclusive holiday experience.
Be assertive when communicating your boundaries. Stand firm in your decisions and prioritize your well-being. If others push back, calmly reiterate your needs and the reasons behind your boundaries.
Learn to say no when necessary. It's okay to decline invitations or requests that may overwhelm you. Politely but firmly say no when you need to protect your time and energy. Remember that saying no is not a rejection; it's a way of prioritizing your well-being.
Share the workload with family members or friends. Don’t hesitate to delegate tasks or ask for help when needed. This can help alleviate stress and allow everyone to contribute to the holiday preparations. Communicate openly with family and friends about your commitments and limitations. Remember that setting boundaries is a personal and ongoing process. It's about creating a balance that allows you to enjoy the holiday season while prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
By incorporating these strategies, individuals can enhance their executive functioning skills and navigate the holiday season more effectively. It's important to maintain balance and not to lose sight of what really matters most to you this holiday season.
